Every day a Joke (Read 10402 times)

lindatjuh · « **Reply #25 on:** 20 Apr 2012, 07:24:19 »

Quote from: Jayjay36 on 19 Apr 2012, 23:27:02

Here's a very dirty joke...

Ok, you ready for this?

Here it is...

A white horse fell in mud.... >.>

genius!! xD

lindatjuh · « **Reply #26 on:** 20 Apr 2012, 07:27:26 »

How do you keep an idiot happy for a whole afternoon?
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Write PTO on both sided of a sheet of paper.

J_O_E_S · « **Reply #27 on:** 20 Apr 2012, 08:22:39 »

how do you get fumblemore to stop blowing up TNT?

ANSWER: give him C4

lindatjuh · « **Reply #28 on:** 21 Apr 2012, 22:33:22 »

almost forgot todays joke

how do you make an idiot laugh on Monday?
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tell him a joke on Friday

nickolas927 · « **Reply #29 on:** 21 Apr 2012, 22:43:39 »

J_O_E_S · « **Reply #30 on:** 22 Apr 2012, 08:34:34 »

how many memes does nickolas have on his computer?
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as many as his hardware can manage

lindatjuh · « **Reply #31 on:** 22 Apr 2012, 09:55:04 »

an idiot drove his new car over a cliff.
he wanted to test the air brakes.

nickolas927 · « **Reply #32 on:** 22 Apr 2012, 23:26:07 »

@linda

also i couldn't think up a good joke so have a comic instead

lindatjuh · « **Reply #33 on:** 22 Apr 2012, 23:37:11 »

@nickolas lol xD

and todays joke..

how do you recognize an idiotic pirate?
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He's the one with a patch over each eye.

nickolas927 · « **Reply #34 on:** 23 Apr 2012, 04:39:42 »

@J_O_E_S

lol bro

lindatjuh · « **Reply #35 on:** 25 Apr 2012, 10:24:52 »

Im so sorry I totaly forgot yesterday x.x

so today Ill post 2

Why did John do badly at his history exam?
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All the questions were about things which happened before he was born.

Teacher: "Explain the word fascinate by using it in a short sentance.

Séamus: "seán has nine buttons but can only fascinate."

nickolas927 · « **Reply #36 on:** 25 Apr 2012, 22:57:36 »

i help by posting image joke

lindatjuh · « **Reply #37 on:** 26 Apr 2012, 08:23:25 »

Teacher:"Explain the word office by using it in a short sentance."

Séamus: "My dad fell office chair."

lindatjuh · « **Reply #38 on:** 2 May 2012, 22:51:02 »

okey I know I have to post jokes for a whole week but Im tierd anddont have the time right now but when Im back home and have internet on my own laptop I will post them all

roninman0 · « **Reply #39 on:** 3 May 2012, 04:50:26 »

Quote from: Miner_man123456 on 16 Apr 2012, 14:18:48

I got some funny blonde jokes but idk if they are to "Good" :p

Here is another one less Inappropriate:

"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.
"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."

And one more just for fun what do ya do when a blonde throws a grenade at you... (im blond ) pull the pin and throw it back

A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you." "Oh, great," he said, "What is it?" "It's called the door!"

Hope you like them may come with more later but the post will be to long

roninman0 · « **Reply #40 on:** 3 May 2012, 04:51:04 »

Quote from: achmedofhell on 17 Apr 2012, 23:57:09

Yo mama so fat her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard

(not directed towards anyone)

except yo mama XD

roninman0 · « **Reply #41 on:** 3 May 2012, 04:54:46 »

Quote from: achmedofhell on 19 Apr 2012, 23:18:39

Quote from: lindatjuh on 19 Apr 2012, 22:37:04
Quote from: achmedofhell on 19 Apr 2012, 22:27:03
I tested 20% for minecraft addiction (which is true)

That is the joke

I tested aswell... 90 %
I noticed lol aswell did i test... im minecraft addicted OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!%

roninman0 · « **Reply #42 on:** 3 May 2012, 05:00:04 »

Yo mama so fat she is the ( theoretical ) big bang LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

nickolas927 · « **Reply #43 on:** 3 May 2012, 05:22:20 »

Nebih · « **Reply #44 on:** 5 May 2012, 16:37:17 »

Quote from: achmedofhell on 17 Apr 2012, 23:57:09

Yo mama so fat her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard

(not directed towards anyone)

Yo mamma jokes so old and over used, Just like yo mamma.

It is the ultimate yo mamma joke. I do it everytime!

Jayjay36 · « **Reply #45 on:** 5 May 2012, 20:36:15 »

Quote from: nebih on 5 May 2012, 16:37:17

Quote from: achmedofhell on 17 Apr 2012, 23:57:09
Yo mama so fat her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard

(not directed towards anyone)
Yo mamma jokes so old and over used, Just like yo mamma.

It is the ultimate yo mamma joke. I do it everytime!

But then aren't you just reflecting it at yourself? You make fun of "yo mama" jokes by saying a "yo mama" joke, lol.

lindatjuh · « **Reply #46 on:** 8 May 2012, 09:09:52 »

and now.... the jokes you all have been waiting for... *cough* jokes for more then a week because of that holiday and all.....

Teacher: "Explain the word juicy by using it in a short sentance.
Séamus: "Juicy that boy over there?"

Teacher: "The River Lee flows into Cork harbour - that's its mouth. Where's its source?"
Niall:"At the other end, sir."

Teacher: "Tell me your three favourite things about school Emma."
Emma: "Christmas holidays, Easter holidays and summer holidays, sir."

Teacher: "Why was President de Valera buried in Glasnevin?"
Lisa: "Because he was dead, sir."

Teacher: "Who was it knocked down the walls of Jericho?"
Danniel: "It wasn't me, sir."

Fergus: "What shall we bring on our camping trip? "
Jack: "I'm taking a gallon of whiskey in case of rattlesnake bites. What about you?"
Fergus: "two rattlesnakes!"

Headmaster: "Where have you been, Janet? You should have been here at nine o'clock."
Janet: "Why, sir, what happened?"

Mick: "My dog's got no nose."
Brian: "How does he smell?"
Mick: "Awful!"

Mick: "Our dog doesn't eat meat."
Brian: "Your dog doesn't eat meat? Why not?"
Mick: "We don't give him any."

Mick goes into the pet shop:
"Have you any dogs going cheap?"
"Sorry, all our dogs go Woof!"

thats it for the last week...

Stay tuned!

nickolas927 · « **Reply #47 on:** 12 May 2012, 12:24:03 »

is some funny stuff

Techsam · « **Reply #48 on:** 14 May 2012, 03:44:28 »

Ive got some funny jokes

You may die laughing

What do you call a cow with 2 legs????

Lean Beef

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef

How do you teach a cow to walk?

You put one foot in front of the odder

(too many cows jokes)

lindatjuh · « **Reply #49 on:** 14 May 2012, 09:10:22 »

and again I wasnt able to post for 6 days... stupid finals

'

Mick:"There's a black cat in the kitchen."
Brian:"Don't worry - they're lucky."
Mick: "This one is. It's eating your dinner."

"Did you put the cat out, Mick?"
"Why? Is it on fire?"

"My dog chases everyone he sees on a bike. What should I do?"
"Take his bike away at once."

Mick:"My dog can say his name."
Brian: "Amazing! What's his name?"
Mick:"Woof!"

"Our dog bit my leg last night."
"Did you put anything on it?"
"No, he liked it as it was."

My dog's a mathematical genius. Every time I ask him what five minus three minus 2 is, he says nothing!

What's the biggest mouse in the world?
A hippopotamouse

What do you find at the top of an idiot his ladder?
A "STOP" sign

If an idiot throws a pin at you, run like mad - he's probably got the grenate between his teeth.

stay tuned!!

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